Ordering My Steps

Ordering My Steps

Last week while I was running along the cliffs I saw a woman sitting on a bench facing the ocean reading a bible. This is definitely not common practice in Santa Cruz, so it stuck out. It was really encouraging to see a fellow believer in this city (other than my fellow “Crusaders” as we are called by the locals) and to know that God had other people He was using here and that we weren’t alone in our mission. I continued running until I got to the lighthouse, where I always turn around and go back to the Peter Pan (it’s about a three mile round trip – a pretty good run to start off your morning.) As I was heading home, I couldn’t get this woman off my mind. I really felt God telling me to stop and talk to her. Now I’m not sure if you know anything about me, but I’m not the greatest one to take steps of faith and randomly talk to strangers, even if I feel like God is telling me to. In short, I’m a coward. But I couldn’t get this woman off my mind, so I figured that I’d pull over and try to give her some encouragement and maybe ask her how I could be praying for her and then continue on my run; thereby fulfilling my Christian duties and alleviating this nagging feeling on my heart.

So I pulled over, and the encounter went something like this:

“What are you reading?”

“The Bible,” she responded in trepidation, wondering what form of Santa Cruz crazy had come to interrogate her today.

Laughing I said, “I know. What passage?”

“Oh,” she said relief washing over her face as she recognized me as a fellow believer. “Matthew 20.”

“Well, I just wanted to stop by and talk because this is a rare sight in Santa Cruz, and it was really encouraging to see you out here reading.”

“Oh well thank you. I’m actually the pastor’s daughter at First Baptist Santa Cruz. Are you from around here?” She asked after apparently picking up on my southern charm or perhaps reading my NC State shirt.

“No, I’m from North Carolina. I’m actually here on a ten week mission project with college students all around the country. I just got in the other day.”

“That’s great! We definitely need more of that around here. I actually work at Stanford; I’m here visiting family. I’ll definitely be praying for all of you.”

“Thanks. Is there any way I can be praying for you?”

She went on to describe her current dilemma over whether she was about to marry the person God wanted her to. I informed her that I would indeed be praying, and I continued on my run, Christian duties fulfilled and conscience satisfied, but that wasn’t enough. As I got to the bottom of the hill that leads up to the cliffs, I felt like God wanted me to go back. Maybe I should pray with her now; maybe I should ask her a question about being a believer and working at a university. I didn’t know, but I knew I was supposed to go back, so with and acquiesced, “Okay, God,” I started my way back of that hill to the woman on the bench, whose name I had learned was Stephanie. She saw me coming back and smiled.

“Hey. I hate to bother you again, but I really wanted to ask you a question about possibly working in a university.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I just finished my reading. Are you wondering what school to go to for grad school or what master’s program to get involved in?”

“No, actually I was wondering how easy or difficult you found it to share your faith and witness to others in an academic setting like that.” She was a little surprised by my question, but she sat and thought for a moment, and what proceeded to flow out of her mouth at that moment was some of the greatest wisdom I had ever received from a stranger (not that I get wisdom from strangers often, but I digress - this was good stuff). I had wished I had had a pen and paper with me so I could have taken notes, but what she said went a little something like this:

“We live in a time where Christians are really afraid to open their mouths about their faith, and they often use their environment as an excuse. But God is either God in that setting and that environment, or He’s not God at all. We can’t be afraid to speak because our faith hasn't been given to us to make us fearful but free. We have not been given a spirit of timidity but of power.  We are free to be His and used by Him, and there is freedom in letting God be in control. Every morning I wake up, and I ask God to order my steps that day in His will not my own, for my life to be His to use not mine to own.  Whether you work in a university or are a minister, that’s just your assignment to do His work. You have to realize that, that no matter where God puts you, it is where He wants to use you. That should be your ultimate purpose while you are there. And you can’t try and connect the dots of your life on your own because as soon as you start trying to make plans your way and not His, that is the moment you are going in the wrong direction. You have to let the Lord guide your path and connect your dots and order your steps. Your environment doesn’t matter because your purpose never changes.”

She went on to explain that she was not only an associate dean at Stanford University, but a minister at her church. (dream job?) We then began to pray together and over one another. I’m sure the people running by thought it was an interesting sight, but Santa Cruz is in no shortage of interesting sights. I then thanked her and continued my run back to the Peter Pan Motel. She actually flagged me down in her car later to give me her card and told me to email her sometime about how my summer is going.

The Lord truly blessed me through that conversation. I was amazed to see how God would reward us for taking even the smallest steps of faith, but that was one thing I really wanted to work on this summer. It’s the reason I joined the Outreach team. I really wanted to challenge myself to take bold steps of faith in the power of His Spirit and just let Him carry me through. Not only was I rewarded for taking that small step of faith, but what Stephanie said spoke directly to that. “God is either God in that environment or not God at all.” God is either God in every aspect of my life leading me through and having control, or I’m not letting Him be God over my life at all. I have to trust that He will care for me even when carrying out His word and His will gets scary. So thank you, God, for speaking to me through Stephanie and teaching me what it means for you to not only be my Savior but my Lord as well. Please order my steps for the rest of my days.